Sacrifice + Reclamation

"I want to reclaim who I am."
~ Elizabeth Edwards
Dearest One, 

I feel a deep and powerful call to share these words with you all. 

I just posted them to Facebook and have had an enormous response and feel as though I want to go even deeper with you in here. 

To sacrifice my "safety" net of only sharing with those close to me and make this publicly known is vulnerable and tender.

It is also gives me the sense of a softening in my shoulders, breath, and heart. 

So I have been teaching Yoga since I was 26 years old, so 12 years now. 

Basically, I finished college, took my teacher training, and have been sharing the teaching's since the day I graduated. 

Recently though, over the past year or so, my perspective of teaching and training's shifted. 

As I journaled and meditated, contemplated and reflected, especially at the end of last year, I came to realize two things.

These felt like powerful Aha's, truths, and gave me little stirrings of real fear. 

They have been making a big impact on my Life over the years and their current realization will now be guiding my future decisions.

They are:

1) In search of finding myself within it (yoga), I have also lost myself because of it.

I have become Megan Campbell = yoga teacher. 

2) Part of the "attraction" to this path was creating my own working schedule but really I am still bound to that of my students.

 I never wanted to work 9-5pm Monday to Friday but have been governed by it regardless.

**So 2018 for me is the Year of Freedom**

I have officially taken on a semi-sabbatical and will not be offering training's this year (ok one but talk about that another time).

I am reclaiming my weekend's. 

Maybe go on a date, see my friends who work week days or go to school, hike/camp/ski or things everyone else gets to do. 

So often it hurts now, I hear myself say to myself - "oh yes, yes, yes! I want to do that!"
Look at the dates and then say "damn it. I can't".

"I Can't" used to be my limiting belief. 

I replaced it but have been hearing it now in different ways and that is a big signal for me. 

Signal that it's time for change. 

I am also going to try to find out what I like/who I am without being a Yoga teacher (eeeek!). 

Imagine I was 26 when I started teaching. 

The year before I wanted to coordinate fashion shows or work in public relations. 

Toko-pa shared "Unlike how we've taught to perceive the word (sacrifice) as synonymous with suffering and deprivation, we considered the root of the word sacrifice is 'to make sacred.' In other words, as we release our resistance towards a thing, there is a transfer of power. That which owned us now becomes a layer of magnificence upon our being."

 This powerfully resonated with me, as it feels like what I have been doing, and done through out these past ten years, has been so very sacred and magnificent.

But, it also feels like I have transferred too much power over to it. 

So I am reclaiming more of that too. 

I am taking my power back. 

I want to try new things, like pottery and dance classes. 

I want to meet new people and explore more places. 

I want to host more retreats and plan events again. 

I want more "yes, yes, yes's!" that I can follow through on. 
Thought I would let you all know because even us, who seemingly have it all figured out or don't "get lost", can and do. 

I don't blame you, my students and Tribe.
I don't blame me. 

I am grateful to have these challenges. 
But it would be inauthentic of me to ignore them any longer and not address them. 

I believe the Universe is radical in it's ways to get you where you need to be so that everything happens for your best interest and to strengthen the call of your Soul. 

So as scary as this is - stepping away from great Love, passion, and abundance - I don't want her to get to 'pushy'. 

So with sacredness and Grace I bow to the teaching's and honour the inherent unfolding of what the future holds. 

May this mighty Full Moon feed you with sacredness and give you the strength you need to take your power back too. 


p.s. Feel free to press {Reply} and keep in touch. Let me know if this resonated or how it changes things for you. x


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