I Am Leaving Everything + My Excuses

Dearest Yogini's,

I have decided to leave everything.

And I mean everything!

Family, work, friends, internet, car, doggie daughter, cell, students, and more.... left behind.

A few days ago I woke up from a dream. 

I hadn't dreamt in a really long time and this one played itself vividly in my mind. 

I was trekking a mountain with a friend and we kept calling it Goddess Mountain. 

Once we descended, I went to get Big Mac's for everyone at the base of the mountain. 

Now I don't know what the Big Mac's mean.... yet... but I do know I was being summoned. 

I woke up before dawn, that auspicious and magical time of day, although it didn't feel that way as I tossed and turned in bed unable to stop replaying the dream in my mind.

I decided rather unconsciously to pick up my phone and check Instagram.

A perfect way to make it stop... avoid it. Turn my attention away... right ;) 

But much to my surprise the very first photo I saw was a girlfriend with a swami in Nepal. 

I hopped out of bed and ran to my computer. 

I broke all my morning rituals!

Sometimes rules are meant to be broken. 

I googled the meaning of Annapurna, the mountain I have always dreamed of climbing, and found out her name means Goddess of Nourishment. 

I then checked flights and the trek tour I have always wanted to go with (includes a stop to visit one of the original and biggest Durga temples and Buddhist morning meditations daily!)and lo and behold there was a trek leaving right when I had time off!

I booked it all on the spot!

As one of my favorite authors, Paulo Coelho, says "one day, you will wake up and there won't be any more time to do the things you have always wanted. Do it now!"

I cancelled my planned trip to Nicaragua and am now officially about to literally live a dream. 

If reading this you feel twinges of jealousy, annoyance, criticism, or resentment, I understand, as I have felt those feelings too. 

But know that when those parts of you show up... they are there to tell you something!

Each year I have committed to taking December to leave the country, leave my known life, and leave everything and everyone behind. 

And each year I do this I have many voices that arise each time I go to book my trip.

Like my Inner Critic who says "you are crazy! How can you leave during that time. You have things to do and programs about to start. You are being irresponsible!"

Or my Inner Pusher saying "make sure you have internet where you are going so you can getsome work done while you are away. You have to do something."

And another 'friend'... my Inner Controller who reminds me "you have a dog to take care of, students who count on you, and loved ones who need you. Perhaps, Megan, they can't survive or function without you. Maybe they will find a new teacher... Really it's hard for life to go on around here with out you. You are needed here. Forget that idea and dream... for now hunny."

These are really my Top 3 excuses, or as we are learning in the JOY Circle, Inner Selves. 

You have probably dialogued with them too.

I actually know many of you have!

How do I know...?

Because of the emails I have gotten in regards to the retreat or training in Nicaragua. 

"I have small children and can't leave now. They need me."

"I have so much work to do. It's impossible for me to leave for that long."

"I couldn't possibly spend that much money on myself."

"I have pets to look after and students that need me in class."

"It's much too far and I have never traveled alone. It's not safe."

Any of those sound like something you have said to yourself, or others, in regards to something you have always wanted or dreamed of doing?

The truth is.... life is right now!

Daphne Oz in her book Relish describes this concept of living "placeholder lives". It's when we keep repeating the same habits, thoughts, and patterns and waiting/wishing for the magic moment when we suddenly have it all figured out and our dream life appears.

Sadly, most of us run out of time before we live that dream life. 

So this isn't to say you should abandon everything, quit your job, or leave everyone in lieu of what you think but rather to say that if it feels right, all the signs point to 'YES', then most likely it is!

And one of my teachers said it best ~ "the voice of fear, doubt, or self-criticism becomes loudest right when we need to commit to more time for ourselves" or are about to make a decision that will support us in living a dream and our life to it's fullest. 

But let's be real for a moment....

If you are considering joining us on retreat, for the 300hr training, or fulfilling any other dream try contemplating the questions below.

Listen from your 'hut' (gut + heart) for the answers (not your inner voices or thinking mind!)

How much energy, time, and even money are you wasting because you feel stuck and waiting, seeking or searching?

Do I believe I am worth enough to spend this amount of money on to love my life?

Are you feeling a ONCE/THEN excuse coming on?

(examples: once work calms down and I get on top of it, then I will go on vacation or once the kids are older, then I will pursue my dream...)

Now here's what I know to be very true for me and most likely you will feel exactly the same too!

Every time I said "YES!" to living on purpose, fulfilling a dream, or stepping away from everything I found what I needed to make it happen, AND my life and ability to LIVE and love fully has expanded beyond my wildest dreams.

Of course it has to be right for you, in your 'hut', so if it's not time to join us this year for the retreat, advanced training, or this round of the JOY Circle, I completely trust your Divine process and honor where you are on your path, and so should you ~ guilt and shame free.

But if you think you might regret not joining us, feel let down or disappointed in yourself when registration is over, or maybe just a little nervousness or resistance, then I urge you to listen to the whispering of your heart, trust your instincts and follow your dreams!

Here's to INjoying every minute of this precious journey we call Life!

Megan Xx

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